Me and Jerry Moran

Got a letter today from Rep. Jerry Moran of the Kansas House, that august body that constantly surprises with its lame-brained actions.

BTW, if you have seen the Mystery Science 3000 movie, doesn't Jerry remind you of the boss alien?

In the letter, Jerry sez:

I voted "no" on the Obama/Pelosi Stimulus Plan and I will continue to stand firm against their attempts to expand the federal government and raise your taxes. I was pleased to see my fellow Republicans vote along with me.

See, Jerry didn't have much money growing up, and he thinks it's irresponsible to be throwing money away on "stimuli" like homeowner assistance, education, science and other such frivolous endeavors.

He wants me to sign a petition that says:

...."If you continue down this path of spending trillions of dollars our country does not have, you will be placing our entire national economy at risk and guaranteeing unnecessary hardship for future generations. I appreciate the leadership of Congressman Jerry Moran in trying to put the brakes on federal borrowing and spending."

Then his office computer has thoughtfully preprinted my name and address below a signature line.

When I get these petitions, I generally use the candidate's (Oh, yes, this is really about getting a mailing list for Moran's U.S. Senate run in 2010.) postage-paid envelope and mail them back, appropriately decorated with foul comments. But there's no postage-paid envelope, so I'll have to be content with complaining here.

Let's review how we got where we are. One factor was the Bush Administration's deregulation of the financial industry. Protections that had been in place since the '29 Depression were cast aside in the interest of "free markets." Know what happens when you let people do any damned thing they want to with money? They'll spend yours and mine in silly, stupid ways, and then we can watch our IRAs and 401(k)s disappear in a cloud of smoke.

Another factor was the Bush Administration's penchant for hiding out-of-sight military expenses by keeping them out of the published budget. It's like keeping two sets of books: one legal, the other cooked. Our government was operating like a band of wiseguys.

Now, Mr. Obama has shone a bright light on all of the previous administrations' chicanery, so the economic situation looks much worse than we'd previously been given to believe. Thanks, Bushies. Given what you've done, we would have fallen off a financial cliff eventually, anyway. In fact, we've been careening toward the abyss for years and didn't know it.

Thanks also for screwing over science by putting it in the care of "loyal Bushies" who sought to silence scientists about the environment and NASA issues, to protect Big Bidness. Well, I could go on at length about Bush's incompetent appointees, from "Brownie" the horseman who did a "heckuva job" on Katrina to Margaret Spellings, the anti-education Education Secretary. But I won't. It just makes it hurt all over again.

Anyhow, Jerry Moran is evidently under the common Republican impression that the citizens don't want any help pulling themselves out of the hole Bush pushed us into. This citizen will take all the help I can get, and I'll bet so will the middle-class families who are facing homelessness due to the aforementioned deregulation and visiting the food bank for the first time in their lives.

Jerry, you can count on my NOT supporting your blinkered Republicanism. Let me know if your party ever comes up with a helpful idea. So far, all you've done is throw brickbats at Obama and anyone who thinks the post-Bush disaster needs to be dealt with by infusing money. This is a genuine emergency immensely bigger than Katrina. Heroic measures are very much in order.

But Jerry, you're no hero. You're a zero. The only reason I might vote for you in the primary is that you may not be as bad as the alternative, Todd Tiahrt. Him, he's no better than a minus five. Because apparently, the will of the people isn't as important to him as his extreme religious views and his ambitions. This match-up of Republicans vying for Brownback's Senate seat in 2010 speaks to the out-of-touch nature of the state's GOP. I just hope the Kansas voters aren't as out of it as these two are. For once, maybe they'll vote FOR their best interests, not against.